Declining an invitation

X Don’t say: “I can’t go.”

Say:

        That sounds great, but…

        I’m sorry, but I really can’t. I have to…

        I really appreciate the invitation, but…

Example: “Thanks for the invitation, but I’m afraid I already have plans. Maybe next time.”

In English, we don’t typically decline invitations without giving a reason (either real or fake). Simply saying “no” or “no thanks” would be too direct and might be perceived as rude.

Telling others you can’t help

X Don’t say: “I can’t help.”

Say:

I’d love to help, but right now I’m really busy with…

I’m sorry, but the boss just asked me to …

I wish I could, but right now I need to focus on…

Normally I’d be able to, but right now I have to…

Example: “Any other time I would, but Mr. Jones just asked to see me, so I’m on my way to his office.”

Saying no to a suggestion/idea

X Don’t say: “That’s a bad idea.”

Say:

I’m not sure that would work.

I’m afraid that wouldn’t work.

That might not be the best solution.

I don’t know if that would work.

Example: “That’s not a bad idea, but let’s look at some more ideas before we make a decision”

Simple requests

X Don’t say: “Come here and help me with this.”

Say:

Could/can you…?

Would you mind…?

Example: “Tony, would you mind helping me move my heavy desk?”

Get Permission

X Don’t say: “Let me use your phone.”

Say:

I was hoping you could…

I was wondering if I could…

Do you think I/you might be able to…?

Would it be okay if I …?

Would it be a problem if I …?

Example: “Do you mind if I use your computer for just a minute? The computer technician is fixing mine right now.”

Making an offer to help

X Don’t say: “Let me do that.”

Say:

Would you like me to assist you with…?

Can I help you with…?

If you’d like, I can…

Example: “Would you like me to hold this for you while you move that?”

Disagreeing

X Don’t say: “That’s not right.” Say:

That’s not necessarily true.

I hear what you’re saying, but …

I’m not so sure I agree.

Well, that’s not always true.

I see what you mean, but …

Example: “I hear what your saying, but I believe the facts show differently.”

NOT

That is too late

That would be too late

Better

Isn’t that too late?

Wouldn’t that be too late?

Change these suggestions into questions

1. Flying would have advantages.

2. Friday would be more convenient.

3. We would need another meeting fairly soon.

4. We could cancel.

5. They can raise some of the finance themselves.

Actually,

In my opinion,

In fact,

Honestly,

Actually (when someone expects you would agree with them.

A: You like coffee, don’t you?

B: Actually, it’s too strong for me. I prefer a light herbal tea.

In my opinion, ... (disagreeing and introducing a new idea.)

A: We should give out free pens to the guests.

B: In my opinion, everyone does that. We should give out t-shirts, instead.

In fact, … ( when someone has the wrong facts)

A: We know that everyone love’s a free pen.

B: In fact, according to the research, most people think a pen gift is useless.

Honestly, … (when someone opens the floor for feedback)

A: What do you think about that plan. Anyone?

B: Honestly, I’m not sure that’s such a good plan. [give reason]

1. ________________, that’s probably not the best solution available.

2. ________________, maybe we should reconsider our plans.

3. ________________, at this point we’re not ready to move forward on that project.

4. ________________, I think we could have had more sales last quarter.

5. ________________, sales in our north district have fallen sharply.

I’m afraid

(most common “red flag” phrase)

(when you don’t know what else to say)

Examples:

A: Bring me up to date on our sales progress.

B: I’m afraid we didn’t meet our sales quota for the month.

A: Could we schedule the conference for the first week of January?

B: I’m afraid Mr. Johnson will be out of the country at that time.

Answer the following questions beginning your sentence with “I’m afraid, ...”

1. Can we meet again later this week?

2. Couldn’t we ask the IMF to fund us?

3. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to introduce our new product next month?

4. Could you guarantee delivery by late September?

5. Do you know the chairman personally?

6. Do you have last year’s sales figures yet?

7. Where’s the report?

8. I thought you were going to bring the files today?

Might (be) replaces Will/Is

Using the verb “will” or “is” can come across as strong or arrogant. Changing “will/is” to “might” can soften the suggestion.

Not: We will leave if the director doesn’t show soon.

Better: We might leave if the director doesn’t show soon.

Not: It is necessary to build more factories.

Better: It might be necessary to build more factories.

Rewrite the sentences below by replacing “will” with “might”

1. If we do that, we will lose that account.

2. If we make that change, Joe will leave the company.

3. It is dangerous to delay a decision.

4. A new product at this time will overburden our production department.

5. It is a good idea to take a long term view of the problem.

6. Using telemarketing will hurt our reputation.

7. An earlier delivery date is helpful.

Not + very + positive adjective

Examples                    Change to

The hotel was dirty.      The hotel wasn’t very clean.

The food was cold.       The food was not very hot.

Change the following sentences like the above examples.

1. That’s inconvenient.

2. That’s unsuitable.

3. That’s a stupid question.

4. This year’s figures are bad.

5. That proposal is insensitive to local conditions.

6. That suggestion is impractical.

7. That was an unhelpful remark.

8. That’s a destructive approach.

9. That’s a useless line of argument.

10. I’m unhappy with that idea.