A bank robber thought it would be more convenient and faster if he called in his order beforehand.

Joe Spencer, 22, had called the bank ahead of time demanding that $100,000 in large bills be put in a bag and be waiting for him at the door when he arrives “or else there will be a major blood bath if the money’s not ready.” The robber also requested that there be no explosive dye in the money bag.

The clerk took the threat seriously and told her manager who immediately called the police. But since the manager new the robber was coming, he knew the robber wouldn’t be able to escape. So the manager filled a money bag with copy paper and a red-dye pack—just for good measure—and placed it by the door.

Approximately five minutes later, the robber walked into the bank and the bag was waiting for him by the door, but of course all the security guards had their guns out and were pointing them at the robber.

The robber, to avoid getting shot, threw down his gun, but he grabbed the bag and spun around to leave when suddenly, the red-dye pack exploded. The robber was covered with red dye from head to toe.

In the meantime, the city police and SWAT team had arrived at the scene, and when the man ran out the door, he was immediately arrested and taken away.

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Drug dealers speeding, caught with bag full of drugs

[inspired by actual events]

Two drug dealers were taking a joy-ride in a stolen car when they were pulled over by the police for speeding. One of the officers saw a bag in the back seat that was labelled, Bag Full of Drugs.

“What’s that?” said the officer.

“Just a bag,” the dealer replied.

“Is it a bag full of drugs?”

“No, just a bag.”

“It says, ‘Bag Full of Drugs’.”

“It’s not.”

“Hand it to me, please.”

“No, you need a warrant.”

“I don’t need a warrant,” said the officer, “the bag is in plain sight, and it looks suspicious. In fact, it looks suspiciously like a bag full of drugs.” When the officer looked in the bag, sure enough, it was a bag full of drugs.

Both men are now serving time for car theft and drug possession with intent to sell (intent to distribute).